Casa Bonita! Casa Bonita! Food, adventure, games, and fun!Good guacamole was that an experience and a half we just had! Where to even start? For those of you that don't know,
Casa Bonita is the Mexican Restaurant spectacle popularized (at least to non-Coloradans) on a particular South Park episode (that Scott and I watched Monday) to get fired up. Scott and I have been planning on a trip to
Casa Bonita for the last 3 years - ever since the episode first aired and he informed me that it is in fact a real place.
Let me try to paint a picture of this place...
Casa Bonita is comfortably nestled right smack in the middle of a Denver suburb strip mall. Across the street is a liquor store, bar, and pawn shop.
Casa Bonita's exterior is actually
ok. They have some nice greenery outside and a picturesque fountain. On walking in the front door it becomes immediately clear that the place isn't quite right. You immediately get in a windy line much like you're at a theme park waiting for a sweet ride. As we inched forward over the course of 15 minutes we deliberated over what we would order to eat. The choices were the deluxe beef dinner or the deluxe chicken dinner - each essentially a pile of brown food covered in various cheese like substances. At the end of the line we were given a cafeteria tray and a plate of food. I went with the chicken. Scott went with the beef. We each ultimately regretted our decision.
We carried our trays of food (along with Corrie and Scott's friends, Greg and
Nichelle) to another line where we waited for a host to take us to our table.
Casa Bonita can seat 1100 guests. Thankfully this wait was just a few minutes because we had to hold our trays of food until a table was ready. On sitting down, we had a
panaramic view of what can only be described as the worst rendition of old world Mexico. Still, I couldn't help but grin as the mariachi band serenaded us with what I considered pretty good music. In the background a shirtless high
schooler cliff dove repeatedly from 20-30 feet above a murky pool. This actually would have been pretty cool except it felt a little creepy to be watching the dripping wet, topless high school boy jumping around. (He later juggled fire which Corrie seemed to pay quite a bit of attention to.)
I don't even know how to describe this food and do it justice. I'm used to eating at these Mexican taco trucks run by Mexicans and frequented by Mexicans. So I can only assume that the food at those is somewhat authentic. The food at
Casa Bonita is nothing like the food at those places. In fact, I would go so far to say that my deluxe chicken dinner was less Mexican than Taco Bell. The enchilada was essentially some meet in a tortilla with spaghetti sauce on top. Some other tortilla filled thing on my place appeared to by smother in Velveeta cheese. The taco wasn't anything to write home about either. They were accompanied by the usual beans and rice. The deluxe dinners were all you can eat and seconds are requested by raising a flag at your table. I had seconds. I'm feeling fine now but I think tonight may have been the first time that
gutrot set in BEFORE I was finished eating. Oh yeah, I do recommend the
sopapillas for dessert. Those little fried pastries with honey are actually pretty good.
After dinner, we settled up and went to explore the attractions that make
Casa Bonita famous. As we approached the haunted house I was making this scary "
wooooo wooooo" sound that a little girl
inadvertently heard. She was already on the fence about whether she was brave enough to enter the haunted house and that put her over the edge. She bolted. The haunted house itself was
ok (not as good as Stacy's Halloween parties). However, Stacy's parties don't contain Black Bart's Cave which was incredible. We winded our way through secret passages until we discovered Black Bart's loot. He didn't do a particularly good job of hiding it but I'm still proud of myself for finding it.
After a quick trip through the gift shop we left. But not before getting lost about 10 times. I swear, getting out of that place is harder than leaving a Vegas Casino. We said goodbye to
Casa Bonita and hustled back to Corrie's place.
I don't know what else to say about that place. It is just simply awesome in it's tacky awfulness. Am I glad I went? Hell yeah. Would I go back? F#ck no!
